Mike and Julie's house. Tastefully decorated, spotless, cozy, plenty of interesting magazines on hand.
Cast of Characters:
Mike, a man in his 40's. Will watch sports, but is more interested in music.
Julie, a woman in her 40's; Mike's wife. Sharp as a tack, strong British accent. Doesn't really care about watching football, but loves to entertain.
David, a man in his 40's. F.I.M. (Football Information Machine). David can tell you who played in the Super Bowl in 1976, who the halftime entertainment was in 1990, and how much Tom Brady weighs. He is the only one who really knows what is going on.
Alex, a woman who will be 40 on April 26. Has never watched an entire football game in her life, and couldn't tell you a line of scrimmage from a tight end, but knows that those are football words. She likes to go to cozy houses and be entertained. She has bought a licensed sweatshirt for the occasion. Even though she bought it in the children's section, it is still very expensive. She will not say how much she paid for it. She does not know what licensing a sweatshirt means. She justifies the price by promising herself to wear the sweatshirt to the gym every time she goes.
Rio, a seven-year old Greyhound. He will be asleep for the entire game.
Luna and Harley, two "older" cats. They make brief appearances throughout the evening.
Scene I: Everyone settles in, gets their drinks (Mike & Julie, wine. David, beer. Alex, water), and gets comfy. The game starts. They pay attention. Alex squeals with delight when Jordin Sparks, the latest winner of American Idol, sings the national anthem. Everyone else groans. Alex tries to score knowledge points by pointing out players, coaches, and any pertinent football information to David to see if he's impressed. He appeases her and nods, "Yes. Very good!"
Scene II: Alex invents a drinking game where everyone has to drink whenever a shot of Tom Brady's beautiful face is shown. Julie and Alex comment on who is good looking and who is not on Team Patriot.
Scene III: The game, and very bad commercials. The only commercial that is somewhat entertaining is a bunch of animated geckos dancing to Michael Jackson's "Thriller".
Scene: IV: Halftime show. Tom Petty needs to get a shave and a haircut. Badly. Nothing will compare to last year's Prince halftime show. Everyone knows it. They show Tom Brady's face so much, Alex is compelled to shout, "I'm gettin' hydrated tonight, woo!"
Scene V: The Patriots are making mistakes. David starts pacing. He is very worried. Alex insists that everyone hold hands and make a "positive energy" circle. They do this three times during the game.
Scene VI: The energy circle does not work. There is one time when David and Alex think that one of the Patriots catches a ball and makes a touchdown, and they jump up and cheer. And then they see the replay and discover that in fact, the ball is not caught, just fumbled around. They can't believe it. At least the Pats are still ahead.
Scene VII: Just when they think the Pats are going to win, (there are only seconds remaining in the game), Eli Manning of the NY Giants throws the ball way across the field, and the guy he's throwing it to catches it. The Giants score a touchdown and win the game.
Scene VIII: Everyone is shocked and depressed. They drown their sorrows in coffee, tea, and footballs made out of oatmeal creme pies. Rio, still sleeping, passes gas, which only adds to the dismal air (pun intended) of the atmosphere.
Scene VIIII: Alex can't remember Roman numerals past VIII. Mike suddenly looks very ill, but has to drive Alex, and then David, home. He seems feverish. They arrive safely to their destinations. The city of Boston is eerily quiet and still.
THE END
Epilogue: Alex washes her losing team's sweatshirt and it shrinks. She mentally goes through the list of kids she can give it to.
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