Low Battery

I went to bed early last night, I was exhausted. I was in a deep sleep, and all of a sudden, I got woken up to the sound of a robotic woman's voice:

(beep!) LOW BATTERY.

WTF??? I bolted out of bed (thank God I didn't hurl myself off of my loft, I was so scared). I looked at my cell: 11:50 pm. Did my friend leave her phone at my house? Who said that? It took me a minute to get my bearings, then I realized it probably came from my smoke detector. Of course it couldn't just beep, it had to have some scary voice attached to it. I wondered when it would beep again. Could I go back to sleep? Of course not.

It happened again half an hour later:

(beep!) LOW BATTERY.

All right, all right!I couldn't listen to this thing all night. I unscrewed the thing from the wall (Thank God I could reach it from my loft and I didn't need a ladder!). I took the batteries out, and it screeched a little. It seemed like it was alive. I didn't want to put new batteries in it in case it beeped when I put them in.

I put the new batteries and the detector next to me, as if it was some rejected lover. How pathetic. My imagination took over and I thought it was going to come to life and smother me. I saw it covering my whole face, like it had a life of its own. I said to myself, "You have GOT to stop reading so much Stephen King!"

I prayed that no fire or carbon monoxide would come to the house in the eight hours I would need to sleep, and dozed off. Woke up safely this morning, and put the new batteries in. Sure enough, it tested itself by beeping and talking:

(beep, beep, beep!) FIRE!
(beep!) CARBON MONOXIDE HAS BEEN DETECTED.

Then it stopped. Thank God I waited till morning. She's been quiet all day. I'll sleep with one eye open.