I hate balloons.* There are many reasons, among them:1. I hate the way they smell.
2. They're unpredictable. You never know when they might pop.
3. When they do pop, they make a terrible loud noise.
4. They're bad for the environment. When people release balloons into the air and they pop, birds eat them, and choke to death.
5. They're dangerous. Balloons can't be heimlich-ed out if a child chokes on one.
6. I hate the sound they make when you touch them--that awful squeaky sound, that could lead to popping, that makes another terrible sound (see #3)
Despite all my reasons for hating balloons, I chose to buy some today to spruce up my porch for an art event in which I want people to come to my house and buy my photographs. Let's face it, they're attractive to look at, and they draw people in. I have to have them in my house until tomorrow night. When the event is finished, I'll leave them in my house to deflate on their own, and then I will get rid of them, safely, away from small children and my cat.
I only hope my cat doesn't chew on the curling ribbons that are attached to the balloons. Those ribbons can get wound up in a cat's intestines. The whole package of balloons is a menace to society.
*water balloons and mylar balloons are fine.
4 comments:
Mylar's not fine. Utility companies want them banned because they short out overhead lines when they drop onto them
So no balloons at your birthday party? Is that what you're sayin'?
The dress I'll be wearing to your party is actually made from recycled balloons. Perfect for those occasions when one wants to indulge at the punch bowl.
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