Oh, Canada!

I just found out that there's no age limit at the Olympics. That settles it, I am going to compete in the women's figure skating event in Canada in 2010. I'll start training after I take karate for a few more months and after my "Music Video Dance" class in the spring.

I've already got my routines figured out. The first routine, which will get me to the Olympics, will be to Whitney Houston's, "One Moment in Time." Have you ever listened to that song? I mean, really listened? It is so inspiring and so perfect for an ice skating routine. I know exactly where to put the move where you go in a semi-circle with your skates turned out, and when to do a death drop. I don't think I'll do a sow cow. I just like to say it. Sow cow. Say it, it's fun! I need to learn the names of the rest of the moves.

My Whitney routine will end with a spin, maybe one of those ones where my knee is bent and then I stand up. At the last note of the song, my right arm will be straight up, and my left arm will be straight out to the left. I will be crying, because no one thought a 41 year old woman (I'll be 41 by then) who had never skated could start training and get so far in just 4 years. I'll show them!

Fast forward to 2010, Canada. For my Olympic debut, I will skate to the music of Prince in the short program (you did know that he composed wordless music, right? At first I thought his music would be too special, but I've changed my mind) and a medley of the opera "Carmen" in the long program. Carmen is well known, and the audience will get involved and get pumped.

And of course I need to think about the outfits. Easy! For Whitney, I'll wear white; demure, no feathers or anything, just classic, not too much skin showing. For Prince, purple, of course, with sequins and something flashier. For Carmen, red. I'll be on fire!

If there was an Olympic event called Daydreaming, I'd win the gold.