A Clean Apartment in Half an Hour!

Want to make your apartment spic and span? Want to have it done quickly?
Here are 6 easy steps to a place that looks like new!

1) Have a meeting scheduled, in 30 minutes.

2) Have your cat go poop, but not quite all the way.

3) Have her scuttle all over the apartment on her ass, trying to get it out. Make sure she covers the kitchen, the floor, the rug, and the $69 Ralph Lauren bath rug (which was a gift, you would never pay $69 for a bath rug).

4) When the place stinks to high heaven, and her mission is complete, shove her out into the hallway, and grab the vacuum and Murphy's Oil Soap.

5) Scrub the floors and carpets with the soap, on your hands and knees, like Cinderella. It's the only way to get a floor really clean. Curse the cat you formerly referred to as "my baby".

6) Vacuum the floor and rugs.

In under 30 minutes, your place will be clean as new, and no one will know what unspeakable horror occurred but you and the cat (and the neighbor, whom you called to vent your frustrations). Voila!