The Log Blog

My friends Jenn and Sidhu really want to be in this blog. They didn't choose the cutest subject to get in on, however. The shit hit the fan, so to speak, and here they are. Hope you're happy, guys. Your big moment has arrived.

They invited me out to dinner with them, to the fast food Indian place. Right as we're getting into the minivan, Sidhu announces that he's just stepped in dog crap. He hates stepping in dog crap, and gripes about it the whole ride over. I asked if he wanted to use my sink, but he said no, he'd just keep scraping along the sidewalk.

On the way over to the restaurant, Jenn entertains the van (me, Sidhu, and their 4 children) with poop stories they've heard from other people. We're all giggling and snorting, these stories are pretty funny, but man, we're about to eat, and some of the Indian food I like happens to resemble, well, I can't even go into it, I need to put a hold on the conversation so we can just enjoy our meal.

Enjoy our meal we do, until two year old Sera takes a major dump in her pants. Seems that she's been toilet training this week, and has been doing really well. With pee. Jenn thought that we were just going in for a second to order our food to take out, so she quickly threw a diaper on Sera...on top of her underwear, which Sera had already had on. Once we got in we decided to sit down and eat, and Sera's undergarments were forgotten about.

Until Jenn can hardly breathe, and she's thinking about what to do. Take her to the van and change her, just head home...we decide to just head home, everyone's done anyway. More poop references, lots of laughs, Sidhu not believing that Jenn put the diaper on over the underwear...

So we get to the van, Sidhu puts Sera in her car seat, and man, it stinks! We're all laughing and waving our arms, and Jenn decides to just change her right then and there. Sidhu takes her out of the seat, and smears toddler poop on the seat. Man! I scream, and we all get up to look. Jenn has Sera in the front seat and announces that this is a much...bigger situation than she had thought. Oh god, disgusting! She calls for backup from Sidhu.

Sidhu takes charge, all the while cursing about how disgusting this is, he can't believe this, etc. I tell him to calm down, he's a surgeon, for goddsakes. "Not a rectal surgeon", Jenn quips. When he starts going on about corn chunks, I say that I'm going to be sick, and we really need to stop now. Maxy said she was going to vomit. Jace, the baby, was amazingly quiet throughout the whole episode.

Quinn, while looking in the front seat, puts his hand in the poop and waves it around. Jenn wipes it off and I quickly administer the Purell like an expert. We need to get home. Now. We finally do, and as I get out, Sidhu says it must be nice to breathe clean air. I breathe in the fumes from the front grill of the van and say that's even fresher than what they're breathing. We all bust up, Sidhu apologizes for being a party...pooper, ha ha, I promise to hang out with them again, in a year or two, and go inside. A few minutes later I get an email from Jenn saying that Sidhu thinks the blog entry can be called The Log Blog. So it is. I've got to stop now. I'm pooped.