Bathtub Blunder

I taught my cat Shelby how to drink from the tub faucet. She jumps in the tub and waits for me to turn on the faucet, and when she's done, she jumps out. The whole process takes about five minutes.

Shelby had a little "accident" outside of her litter box today, so I had to clean the plastic litter mat that is right outside of her box. It's a plastic grid tray, and to clean it, I have to fill up the tub with a little water and soak it.

Well, I left it to soak, and forgot about it. Poor Shelby jumped in the tub as she usually does. I heard a noise, and then I saw a shaken Shelby, limping with very wet feet. Oh, the poor thing! I have never seen a cat look embarrassed, but I swear that is how she looked. I wiped her feet off and apologized profusely, and she did what she usually does in great times of stress: she fell asleep.

I cleaned out the tub, and in a few minutes I'll show her that it's okay. I hope she's not too traumatized.

Success!

Guess what? The dishwashing liquid totally worked! Remember that next time you have a grease stain. Or Lestoil. Or Pine Sol.

Voiceover--Do-over!

I just saw a preview of a piece that was coming up on my daily morning new show. They announced, "What to do with leftover frozen embryos, coming up." The unfortunate thing was that during the voiceover, they showed a family cooking in the kitchen. Ewww.

False Advertising

"Does your shirt stink? Wanna make something of it? Come to this dry cleaner, and get it cleaned!"

This picture is supposed to advertise a clean shirt, but to me it looks like a stinky shirt. P.U.!

Grease Monkey

Yesterday I walked past a bicycle, just as the wind knocked it down. Trying to be helpful, I picked it up and righted it, and went on my way. When I got home, I noticed that I had bicycle grease on my pants, grrrr! I looked up "removing bicycle grease" on Google, and soaked my pants with dishwashing soap overnight. I'll wash them today to see if the grease came out. They were old pants anyway.

Strawberry Tooth

The other day I got a strawberry that looked like a tooth. I think it needs a filling.

Visit from Venezuela

About 11 years ago we had a family at my school from Venezuela. They were here for one year; Vicky, the little girl, was four years old at the end of the year when they moved back.

A few months ago, we got an email from Vicky, saying that she didn't know if we remembered her, but she was 15 now and was coming to visit Boston and wanted to see us (my boss Rosie and me). Of course we remembered her! She was a quiet girl with a big smile, and her mom made us a cassette tape of Venezuelan songs when they left.

The other day Rosie and I met Vicky and her family at our school. They had had two more kids since we had seen them, so we got to meet Julio, 10, and Beatriz, 8. When Vicky hugged me, it was a real hug, tight, and not quick and perfunctory. The younger kids got hugs too, and I wasn't sure if it was their Latin culture or the culture of our school that made it so natural. It didn't matter.

Whenever we get visitors from long ago, it seems as though time stands still. Suddenly, we were back in 1998. I went over to our music cabinet and in about 3 seconds put my hands on the Venezuelan tape and passed it around. We got out the photo album and found Vicky right away. She and her mom sang bits of some songs they remembered, and we all sat down for a pizza lunch.

The conversation turned to their hometown of Caracas, and they mentioned how dangerous it was. They told me that you couldn't ever take the subway or walk down the street, because you might get shot or kidnapped. Vicky's mom told me about something called "Express kidnapping", and Vicky explained what it was. She said that someone would get kidnapped in the morning, the kidnappers would demand ransom from the family, the family would get them the money in a few hours, and by nighttime, the kidnapped person would be returned. Express kidnapping. I remarked about how sad it was that a 15 year old girl was telling me this, that she knew things like this happened. The younger kids nodded, because they knew it too.

It seems that Boston, while a dreamland compared to Caracas, wasn't the safest place either, at the end of their stay. Vicky's dad told a story about how they were trying to sell their car before they moved. They had a sign in the window advertising $500 for the sale of their clunker.

One day the dad got lost driving in a sketchy neighborhood and was stopped in the middle of the street by a man with a gun. He demanded the car, but said that he would pay for it. The dad was, of course, shocked and scared, and told the guy if he had the money, he could have the car. The guy gave him the money, and the transaction was complete. Rosie asked, "How did you get home?" and he replied, "Crying."

Despite sad stories of violence, we had a great lunch and a wonderful visit with Vicky and her family. We learned that the trip was a present for Vicky's 15th birthday that she requested, with our school listed as an important stop among their travels. I told a friend about the visit, and he remarked, "Your school is like a friend factory." It is. And a family factory too. We are a family, and visits like these only reinforce the feeling. I work at a very special place.

Half My Paycheck

I just came back from a weekend away, and I went up the block to CVS to get some milk. Saw some yogurt while I was there, and figured that might be a good thing to have in the morning.

At the register, the yogurt didn't scan, so the cashier asked me to go over to the scan machine and tell me what price it gave. I scanned the yogurt, and came up with $999.99. I told the young pimply faced man behind the counter, "It says nine hundred ninety-nine dollars and ninety-nine cents. Man, that's expensive yogurt!" He didn't really laugh, just smiled, and looked frustrated. He asked me how much yogurt usually cost, so I took a guess and paid $1.39. Was I close?

Smells Like Trouble

Yesterday I saw a guy come out of the ATM. He had his money fanned out in front of his face for all to see, and he smelled it as he was walking by me. He made sure I saw and heard. He had a sort of menacing look on his face. Ewww, creepy.

Going Postal in Brookline

I love my town. A couple of weeks ago, I went to the post office in Brookline Village to mail a package of returned clothing. I stuck the label from the company on the bag and brought it to the counter, where the mail woman told me I was all set, no charge.

About an hour later, I got a phone call from the woman, saying that she had made a mistake, and actually it would cost $4.90. The post office was closing in an hour, and if I couldn't make it back, the package would be returned to me. I couldn't make it back in time. Sure enough, the package was delivered to me with the amount owed written on it.

Yesterday I was running errands in Coolidge Corner, the location of the other Brookline post office. I brought the package in and waited in line. Unbelievably, the same woman from the Brookline Village post office was one of the three people behind the counter. I tried to guess my chances of getting her. Amazingly, I did get her.

I put the package on the counter and told her I had been at the other post office...she totally remembered, and said she was sorry, and sort of new at this and thank goodness she was able to find my phone number to tell me. I told her it was okay, and that at least we had come full circle and could have closure with this package.

We laughed together, and I got to know yet another Brookline postal worker. I already know one who shares my birthday, another who used the same physical therapist as me, and another who is also a tattoo enthusiast like myself. Here in Brookline, I want to "go postal"!

Let's Play Mafia!

A kid brought this car to school, and this is what it looked like at the end of the day. Looks like Dr. Jones won't be writing prescriptions for much longer...

MJ for the next generation

Since Michael Jackson died, I've been bringing in The Jackson 5 and Michael Jackson CDs for the kids to listen to at school. I think it's important that they know his music. One day Claire came up to me and asked if we were going to listen to that guy again. I said, "Who?" She replied, "You know, Eee hee!", doing a perfect MJ impression. I assured her that yes, we would.

Red light--there's a rainbow!

It has been so rainy for the past month and a half. Sometimes you get something good out of it. I caught this rainbow on my way to a friend's house during a torrential downpour. By the time he came to rescue me from the rain, the sun had come out. Rainbows are so magical.

Doh! Time to pay the bills!

Whenever I go to the post office to get new stamps, I always ask to see what the latest ones are. These looked like a lot of fun. I enjoyed putting the Homer one on bills. You could use the Marge one on a belated birthday card.

I see London, I see France, I can see your...

I saw these dudes walking ahead of me at the park. How low can you go? You gotta admit, the low pants style has been around for many, many years. It's not a trend anymore. It's a way of life.

She's Had Enough

The other day Claire brought in a toy iPod. It was so attractive that kids were listening to it instead of eating their snack or lunch. I really got on Claire's case, yammering on and on about how she and her friends needed to eat, she shouldn't bring that to school if it's too distracting, blah blah blah...

Claire turned to me after my tirade and said, "Alex, I think you should leave early today."

Sick

I'm sorry, but the first thing I thought of when I saw these barrettes in the store was a new advertisement: "And now, for the pedophiles in your life, the perfect gift!"

Eww. But that's what I thought, so there it is.

Nurse Ratched

Sometimes I feel like Nurse Ratched. I have to give Shelby a new pill for a couple of weeks, much to her dismay. I can usually get it in her, but sometimes she fakes me out like those patients in the movies. You know those ones who pretend to take the pill but really hide it under their tongue or in their cheek till the nurse leaves the room, and then they spit it out?

Shelby does that sometimes. The other day I caught her; I turned around for a second as she was eating her breakfast, and when I turned back around, I saw the offending blue pill back in her food. I shoved it down her throat again, but good. I now check her plate every time.

Corduroy Turn-On

I saw a man at the Apple store who had on corduroy pants. The wale on his pants didn't go vertically, like you usually see. It went across, horizontally. It sort of turned me on. But his sweater didn't match, and that turned me off. Back to neutral.

Thirsty?

The other day I was at the train station, waiting for a train. There's a bookstore there, and I often browse the titles as I'm waiting. I picked up a book titled, You're Not Sick, You're Just Thirsty! I flipped through and found an interesting tidbit.

It said that you should drink a glass of water upon waking, before you eat or drink anything else, because your body is dehydrated from sleeping. It made sense to me, so I've been doing just that for a week. It really makes a difference! I find that I'm actually thirsty when I wake up, and I down a glass of water pretty quickly. Also helps with the pee, which you already know should be clear, right? Clear enough to read through (got that from Dr. Oz on Oprah).

Maybe you all do this already. If not, try it! You'll pee glad you did!