Lazy Sunday

Ahhh...2:30 pm. I just woke up. Now, before you get the wrong idea, I did not go to sleep last night and wake up just now. I got up at 6:30, fed the cat, and woke up again at 9:00 because the phone rang. Friend and I went out to breakfast, and there musta been somethin' in the bacon, 'cause I came back, had a cup of tea, and went right back to bed. Till just now. Nice thing about having a cat is that she sleeps whenever I do, and wakes up with me too. It's so cute.

Now listen, if you think I'm livin' the life, just stop and think about what I do. Why, yesterday I spent a grand total of 3 1/2 hours in a movie theater; the first hour and a half I was in one theater watching a Bugs Bunny film festival, and the other two hours I was in another theater watching the tirades of one Idi Amin (The Last King of Scotland). Went out to eat till 11:15 pm, and now I'm tired all day.

Seriously, I don't sit on my ass all day. Yesterday I also made greeting cards, painted and decopaged a mirror, and wrote part of my memoir. My neighbor came downstairs and wanted to know if I skiied. No. Ice skated? Not really. Sledded? Uh...I tried to be helpful. "I surf the net!" I told her. Har dee har har.

Sometimes it's good to have a lazy Sunday. Gotta go finish the paper, and get ready to sit on my ass for 3 hours tonight watching the Oscars. What a life!

Reality Check

Ah, to be childless and a teacher on the public school calendar. A week off, with nowhere to go. I have watched Ellen and Oprah every day, and Oprah on Ellen. And not Martha Stewart, though I tried. She is just not a talk show host. She's always been so stiff. Maybe she can do wonders with a styrofoam ball and a glue gun, but I need a little more human connection, you know what I mean?

So here's the thing: Every Sunday night I go to my friends' house to watch The Apprentice. For one reason or another, we haven't been able to watch the last 2 episodes, but thank god for TiVo. But now we have to catch up on The Apprentice and The Amazing Race All Stars. And The Oscars are on Sunday. And America's Next Top Model starts again next week. And American Idol is on every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. And that conflicts with Survivor. What is a girl to do?

I am sooo glad I don't like dramas.

I know about five people who read my blog regularly. Four of them can totally relate to the above. One of them has gone to the bathroom and is dry heaving. You okay, Mike? Mike?

I think I'll bust out the bon bons.

A New Look

Ahh, I love Boston in the winter...
Inside My Head has a new look.
Whaddaya think?

It All Comes Back Around

This whole story starts a few days ago. My friend Hiro and I were waiting for the train. While we were waiting, I saw an older couple who looked like they were having trouble with their car. They were trying to get out of a snow pile, and it looked like they were stuck; the wheels of the car were spinning. I thought that I should go and push the car to help them out. Hiro told me to mind my own. I hemmed and hawed, until Hiro told me, "Train's coming!" I reluctantly got on the T, vowing to do a good deed to make up for not helping this poor couple.

My chance to make up for it came yesterday. See, my friend Jenn is eight months pregnant with her fourth child, and about a week ago she slipped and fell; broke her knee cap in half--yowsa!! Just got home from the hospital, and she ain't got nothin' to do but sit up in the bed. Her mother is helping her out, but I figured I'd give them both a break and have two of the kids over to my house for awhile. The kids and I had a great time, and it felt good to have done something nice for someone.

Rewind to two weeks ago. I had gotten my teeth cleaned, and the hygenist noticed a small area of decay in one tooth. She could ask the dentist to come and look at it, but it would be $35 just for him to walk in the room. She went to consult with him, and he told her to just book an appointment for a filling. He trusted her; if it turned out to be nothing, I'd be the lucky one.

Fast forward to today. I went in to have my tooth filled, hoping it would turn out to be nothing. My dentist's room was all the way in the back, down a long narrow hallway. I told the dental assistant I felt like I was on death row. I called out as I followed her, "Dead man walking!" I got a couple of strange looks.

My dentist came in and I joked about the tooth really having nothing wrong with it. Dr. Tencer (good name for a dentist, no?) laughed and said, "Keep dreaming." He looked at the tooth, and guess what? It was nothing! Just a groove, that could potentially get a cavity. He said it was his fault for not checking, and I could just leave. Who goes into a dentist's office for a procedure, and walks away not needing one?! My tooth looked good and I saved $135 by walking into a room! I thanked Dr. Tencer and told him I would not celebrate by getting a donut from across the street, even though the thought had crossed my mind. He said, "Don't get a donut."

Here's the thing: I know that I didn't need a filling because I helped Jenn, and I helped her because I didn't help those other people. Now, you may say that I didn't need a filling because I didn't need a filling. Nope, I believe that what goes around, comes around, good deeds or bad. So do something nice for someone, and when someone does something nice for you, pay it forward! You may save yourself a dental procedure.

Looking for a few nice people

Sorry the picture is sideways. I saw this sign on a Walgreen's door. All you mean cosmeticians need not apply!

Happy Anniversary to Inside My Head

I've been blogging for a year now. Wow!

On my list of greatest inventions:

* the contact lens
* the Walkman/Discman/iPod
* the internet (and email)
* the Nalgene water bottle
* the digital camera
* the laminating machine
*the blog

Negative

Whew! We got the test results. Belinda Bat did not have rabies. Which is good. But she had to die, which is not good. Poor Belinda. I've been taking a few moments here and there to remember her little bat life and her sacrifice to us. Here's to you, Belinda. May you rest in peace.

We're Going Batty!

We had an unexpected visitor at school today. Here's what happened:

'Round about 11:15 am, teacher/director Rosie and teacher/volunteer Amy are almost out of the door on their way to the park with a few kids. Teacher Beth is in the dress up area. I am "floating", going around making sure everyone's okay. Teacher Sue and kid Joseph are alone in the block room. So they think.

Joseph says to Sue, "Hey, look Sue, I see a bat!" Sue calmly tells me. Sue and I calmly tell Rosie to go ahead to the park, we will take care of this. I run to get my camera and snap a shot of a small brown bat on the inside of the window before calling animal control.

I call animal control, who calls the town police. Sue blocks the door to the block room so no one can come in, and, ahem, no one can come out. I go around and alert the grownups (in a whisper) to what's going on. I say to a parent helper who happens to be a doctor, "There is a

W-I-N-G-E-D R-O-D-E-N-T in the block room." She says, "Huh?" I say, "B-A-T." She advises me to wait for animal control and not go in there.

Two town police officers arrive and inform me that I have to call a private company to come and remove the bat and test it for rabies. They instruct me to not let anyone go in there, especially curious children. I say to them, "Hear that parent singing La Cucuracha? That's to make sure no one goes in there." One officer says, "I know nothing about child control." I tell him not to worry, we've got that part covered. By now the children have heard about the visitor in the block room, and I go around showing the picture of the bat to the children. I thank God for digital cameras.

The officers leave, Rosie and Amy return from the park, and Critter Control arrives and removes the bat. They put it in a plastic Glad lunch container. I make a mental note to never use a Glad container again. The bat is the cutest little thing, about the size of a cell phone. It also sounded like a cell phone when they removed it from the window, poor little thing. Unfortunately, it will have to be euthanized in order to be tested.

We are currently awaiting test results, which we are positive will be negative. In the meantime, I shamelessly gave Critter Control my blog address after remarking that I couldn't wait to blog about this adventure. Are you reading, Critter Control? Thanks for your help, and long live Stellaluna!

Recipe for Heaven

Here's a recipe I just made up:

Go to Dunkin' Donuts.

Get a chocolate frosted donut.

Put it in the microwave for 10 seconds.

Eat donut with a glass of milk.

Pure Heaven.

Meet the Neighbors!

Everyone knows I'm into pop culture and have a subscription to People magazine; I'm up on what all the celebs are doing. Recently, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, and their children moved to New Orleans. My dear friend Emily, who also lives in New Orleans, thought it would be funny to play a trick on me.

She got her 5 year old daughter Ramona to call me up. "Alex, Alex, I have a new friend! I had a playdate with a boy. His name is Maddox!" Of course, I got all hyped up. "What is his name, Ramona?" "Maddox! Maddox!" Ramona gleefully cried. She was laughing, and I thought she was so happy to have this new friend. Oh my god! I totally fell for it.

Ha, ha. Emily got on the phone and broke the news that I had been played. She had worked with Ramona for 20 minutes on what to say.

Good one, guys. Say hi to Brangelina for me.

Kids Say the Darndest Things, in Any Language

I tutor Japanese kids and adults in English. The other day I was talking to one of my 10 year old students, a boy who has a great sense of humor. I would ask him a question, and he would respond, in Japanese, to his sister. After a few times, I asked him why he kept answering his sister, when I was the one asking the questions. He replied that he was tired. He said, "School."

I felt so sorry for him. I said sympathetically, "Oh, I know. It's so hard, everyone speaking English all the time. English, English, English! I understand why you're tired."

He replied in English, looking at me this time. "No. Gym. Yoga." Then he said in Japanese that his back hurt. I laughed so hard I almost fell off the couch.

I will never get tired of having conversations with children. It keeps me young.

Brrr...

On January 6th it was 69 degrees. 20 days later, it's 17 below with the wind chill factor.

Tights? check.
Long johns? check.
Jeans? check.
Tee shirt, double layer L.L. Bean shirt, sweater? check.
Down jacket? check.
Snowpants? check.
Hat, scarf, mittens? check.
Boots? check.

I'm headin' out. Wish me luck.

Visitors, beware

Visitors to Boston, take note. Our subway "T"
system has new pricing. Want to find out what
to pay? Simple. Just look at the attached photo
and find your situation. Do you want a Charlie
Card or a Charlie Ticket? Go by bus, bus to bus, subway to bus, or just subway? Are you a
senior? A student? Do you want a pass? For just today or a week?

I have to ask, because, you see, all the answers
are different. Prices range from free to $59.00, depending on how old you are and who you know in town hall.

I'm disgusted.

You Saw a What???

The other day I saw a robin; you know, the bird that announces the arrival of spring? I saw him on January 20th. We had a short conversation, and then sort of got into a tiff:

Me: Hey, what are you doing here?

Robin (he had an accent like a New York cab driver): Yo, I was flying south for the winter, like I do every year, but I stopped here 'cause it was so nice. It was 69 degrees on January 6th, fer crissakes! And now? It's gotta be down to 25. What the fuck? It's 55 one day and 35 the next. I got my one leg tucked in to keep me warm, puffed myself up, and I'm still cold as hell! This El Nino guy's got us all confused.

Me: Tell me about it. This global warming crap is for the...

Robin: Yeah, for the birds, right. Like I haven't heard that one a few thousand times.

Me: Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you keep flying? And while you're at it, lay off the bread crumbs.

Robin: And why don't you keep walking, lady. And get that camera out of my face.

Who knew that little springtime birds could have such attitude?

I Feel a Draft...

It's 25 degrees outside, feels like 14. When I walked in my place just now from the outside, I noticed it seemed rather chilly.

And then I noticed that my storm windows have been up the entire fall and winter season thus far. Oh my god, how much of an idiot do I feel like right now??? Sure, I can fix the toilet by myself, but can I put down a storm window when it starts to get cold?

Okay, enough beating myself up. I'm going to have some tea. And have my bathrobe on until it gets warm in here.

2 Thumbs Up!

This has been the weekend for movies. Saw 3 of them, and they were all great, and all very different. I recommend:

* Night at the Museum
Funny, good pace, not too heavy handed with the messages. Very entertaining. Excellent animation.

* Dreamgirls

A fantastic musical. Jennifer Hudson, almost American Idol, kicked it! Her singing was so powerful in one song I cried, and led the audience into a round of applause.

* Notes on a Scandal

One word for Dame Judi Dench: Creeeepy! You'll want to speak in a British accent and be wary of older ladies seeking "company" for tea.

Fluffer-nutter

I got this new vacuum sweeper gadget that runs on a battery. After using it only a few times, it stopped working. Cheap piece of crap, I thought, until I turned it over and looked at the roller. This is what it looked like (see above).

The culprit? She's so

embarassed.

Travel Tips

Here's what I learned during my recent travels:

* a medium sized L.L. Bean duffel does fit in the overhead compartment.

* so does a big ass garment bag

* a quart sized Ziplock is the kind you put sandwiches in. That's the kind you have to use, not the bigger one.

* saline solution (salt water) is considered medicine

* Chapstick is considered a liquid

* Dansko clogs and no belt is the way to go for faster security checks

* never check your bags. You can buy stuff when you get there.

THE END IS NEAR

Today it was 69 degrees in Boston.

It is January 6th.

We're in the middle of an earth shift.

I feel like a dinosaur.

Alex "Roto Rooter" Campbell

We interrupt our vacation stories to let you know that Alex is on her way to becoming a full-fledged plumber. She uclogs drains like nobody's business, and tonight she has fixed her toilet all by herself, without calling the landlord! Here, in her own words, is Alex:

So the flusher on my toilet was acting funny ever since I got home from CA. In fact, when I first looked at the toilet after coming home, I thought the flusher had been replaced because it looked different. In fact, it had just been twisted around so it was upside down. Figured that out, problem number one solved.

Then it started twisting every time the toilet was flushed, and then tonight, it just spun around and the water didn't go down. I thought about how I'd have to call my landlord, whose wife just gave birth last week, and how I didn't want to bother him, and how he'd have to call a plumber.

I decided to take matters into my own hands, and I took off the top of the tank. I noticed the chain that goes to the suction thing, then I looked to the left, and I saw this plastic nut that screwed onto a...well, a plastic screw. It was pretty loose. I tightened the nut, and lo and behold, the flusher was fixed!

I am very proud of myself. I think I'll go pee.