Inside My Head

I'm Not Regular

2011-01-12T13:40:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all,

I've been a sporatic blogger since I started writing for an online newspaper on a regular basis. I miss the blog. I should do the column and the blog. Just moved into a new place, which means I have more space and a different energy. Perhaps this will help me. Please be patient.

It's a snow day. Good day to reflect. And drink hot chocolate. I'm off to do both!

When I'm Old...

2010-08-06T17:59:00.000-04:00

I want to sit on a park bench and swing my legs.

How Much is That Doggy in the Window?

2010-08-06T17:56:00.002-04:00

No, not that one. The real one.

Zero Money is Zero Dollars

2010-07-23T19:56:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went to a great store. It was run by Mairead, 3. She told me to come over to the cash register and sit down. I told her I wanted to buy two books, and we began the transaction:

Mairead: How much charge do you want?

Me: Five dollars.

Mairead: Okay. Um...how about zero dollars? Zero money is zero dollars.
(opens cash register and gives me a fake dime) Here's a dollar.

Wow, what a store! Two books for zero dollars, plus a dime that's worth a dollar. I think the store will be open again next week. I'm gonna buy more.

Top Model Pony

2010-07-23T19:51:00.002-04:00

Who Needs a Piece of String?

2010-07-10T12:26:00.000-04:00

Grab your Large Reminder Band, and "Think Thin!"
Drop that bag of potato chips and that candy bar!

Pray for Money

2010-07-10T12:23:00.000-04:00

The other day at school, a girl, M, age 4, was setting up a meal with plastic food. She had it all carefully arranged on the table, plates and food everywhere. A mom and her daughter came over, and M asked if they wanted some food. Mom said yes, and M said, "Okay, but first we need to say grace." Mom said, "Okay, but we don't know what to do. Can you show us?"

M said "Sure", and proceeded to grab their hands. She told them to hold hands and close their eyes, and she said grace:

"Dear God, thank you for this food and bless this food and help us not to do mistakes on purpose and deliver us from evil. Amen."

While all this was going on, Rose, 5, was standing next to me. As soon as the grace was finished, she looked at me and said, "I want my money back!"

Wait For It...

2010-04-30T07:02:00.000-04:00

At my preschool, I encourage the kids to pee when we're lining up to wash our hands for lunch. The boys often whip it out, then say after a second, "I don't have anything!" I give them advice, which some of them take to heart.

Zack was with his family going pee, and as he was standing at the toilet he said, "Alex always says, 'Just wait, it'll come!'"

And it always does.

Panda Face!

2010-04-30T06:58:00.000-04:00

The other day we had bananas for snack at preschool. I found a panda face in mine.

COO...L BED!

2010-03-18T17:23:00.000-04:00

My boyfriend's bed looks like a park bench. I got him a little friend to keep him company when I'm not there.

Ahh...

2010-03-18T08:05:00.000-04:00

Spring has sprung in Boston!

20 Years Today

2010-03-13T12:48:00.000-05:00

Today marks 20 years since my mom died. It's sort of unbelievable. I don't know what happens as you get older to make the passage of time go so quickly, but 20 years seems like yesterday. 20 years, are you kidding me???

I say this whenever I talk about my mom, but I'll say it again. I will never get over her death. Never. It's not like I dwell on it and never leave my house or anything, but I think about her every day, and I wish all the time that she was here. When I really think about it, like now, I start to get really sad and cry. Mostly, I am used to the fact that she's not here, but I don't like it one bit.

My mom was so funny and unique. She would be totally unprepared to handle today's technology. I remember when ATMs first came out and she would get so flustered using them. She'd wave her hands and make panicky noises. To imagine Mom with a cell phone makes me laugh out loud.

Mom liked funky things. She once had some local teenagers carry a defunct fire hydrant up 3 flights of stairs so she could have it as decoration in the entrance of her apartment. She was always paying teenagers to do things for her.

She was a big fan of Reebok sneakers and skirts, down coats, and coral nail polish on her toes.

Here's to you, Mom. I wish you were here. I have a plastic goose lamp and a giant Starbucks mug as decoration in my house. Your influence is evident. I miss you.

Yuk yuk

2010-02-27T08:28:00.000-05:00

Working at my preschool is like vaudeville show sometimes, with one liners zinging left and right.

Yesterday, little Oscar comes up to me holding two tennis balls.

Oscar: Alex, I have balls!

Alex: (pauses for effect) Yes, you do, Oscar.

A mom, breezing by: One in each hand!

Ba dum bum! We're here every day, folks.

Got Glue?

2010-02-15T08:03:00.000-05:00

Who can have these foam pieces for an art project? Anyone.

I WON!

2010-02-15T08:01:00.000-05:00

My friend Amy and I play Scrabble on Sundays. She is famous for kicking my ass on a regular basis, even when she's doped up on cold medicine. Every once in great while, to Amy's disbelief, I win. I won recently (by one point, but hey, it's still a win), and was so excited I had to document it. And now I will share it (read: flaunt it) with the world. Celebrate with me, won't you?

Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

2010-02-10T15:51:00.001-05:00

I'm teaching this song to my kids. It has a great beat, and it's so much fun to sing, "Wuh oh oh, uh oh oh oh!" I've got a couple of the kids singing that part already.

Last night I took a one time class to learn the dance. We got through 1/4 of the dance, and I learned about 1/4 of that. It was fun, but I am NOT Beyonce. Not even close. I'm not worthy.

Barack Sings a Love Song

2010-02-06T22:29:00.000-05:00

When President Obama was elected, I made a big deal of it at school. I prepped the kids and made sure they knew who he was. Every once in awhile I'll show his picture and ask who it is, just to keep it fresh in their minds.

I was excited when I got a taped call from Barack Obama, asking me to vote for Martha Coakley. I saved the message, and have played it for the kids so they can hear his voice and know that Barack Obama called me!

The other day at school I was playing random songs. "Falling in Love" by Elvis Presley came on, and I told the kids who it was. I played the CD a few times, and when Elvis came on again, I said, "Now, who is this again?"

Lucas replied, "Barack Obama!" Guess I shouldn't quiz the kids too often.

Watch Where You Sit

2010-01-15T07:27:00.000-05:00

Yesterday at school I was getting ready to read a story. I had gathered all the children, got them to sit down, and put my little chair in its place so I could sit down and read. A little girl was near my chair, and as I sat down, she pulled the chair out from under me. I fell hard on the floor, totally unexpected. It was that classic pratfall you see in the movies--classic! It would have been funny if I hadn't hit my back. I was okay, she was horrified, and I got some ice and read the story. It was classic, I gotta give her that. What timing! Next time I'll be sure to look carefully before sitting down.

Slippery When Wet

2010-01-02T12:11:00.000-05:00

Here's the Wet Floor Guy. We've all seen him slipping, but have you actually seen him after he's fallen?

Merry Christmas, Dear!

2010-01-02T12:07:00.000-05:00

My cousin got this stalk of Brussel sprouts from her boyfriend's mother for Christmas. Her boyfriend of nine years. Brussel sprouts. Dripping wet from the sink. A week later I was in Trader Joe's and I saw the same stalk. A woman and her husband walked by and said, "Wow, I've never seen Brussel sprouts on a stalk like that", and I had to chime in, "My cousin got those for Christmas from her boyfriend's mother!" Most unusual (and healthy) present this year.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-02T11:56:00.000-05:00

It's 2010, Holy crap. It feels like the future. I spent my New Year's Eve on an airplane coming back from CA. I asked the flight attendant (a little man who resembled Bob Barker, only better looking) if we were gonna celebrate at midnight. He said, "Oh honey, this is gonna be a regular charter plane. We'll all be sleeping." I said, "Oh, come on!"

At first I thought it was gonna be a party. There was a guy next to the window, and an empty seat, then me. This woman from Puerto Rico in the row in front of us told me that she and her family were traveling together, and their seats were all over. She smelled of alcohol, but had an energetic vibe. I moved to the middle seat and let her dad sit in my aisle seat. He didn't speak English that well. I told him I'd practice my Spanish, and said, "Feliz Navidad!"

The woman said she was going to Boston, but it might be risky with her sweatshirt (a Yankees sweatshirt). I said, "I'm a New Yorker!" and we high fived. We made a little noise, and I thought, "Now this is where the party's at!" The dad, whose head looked like a turtle's, smiled politely and had a blank look in his eyes. A minute later, the flight attendant said there were four seats in a row in the back, and the spunky woman said, "Vamanos!" They all got up, Papi very confused, and moved. End of party.

At midnight, most everyone was sleeping, but I looked over at my aislemate, who had his eyes open. I said, "It's midnight. Happy New Year!" Then I went to the bathroom and said to the flight attendants, "Happy New Year!" They said, "Oh, is it midnight? Oh yeah!" I asked why there were no streamers and hats, and one of them said, "Yeah, I did that once during a flight. We didn't want to wake anyone up."

LAME!!! Oh well, it's 2010. The future is here.

Under Attack in the Snow!

2009-12-20T08:29:00.000-05:00

So last night was supposed to be the Blizzard of '09. And it happened, all right. I had a bit of deja vu in the midst of it. This happened to me the last time we had a big storm, but at the time, I didn't remember it. I've even written a blog post about it. If you've read it, it's just the same story. If you haven't, here's what happened.

I kept hearing this loud noise, half asleep, and I was thinking, "I've seen the Stealth Bomber before, I know what it sounds like. I wonder why it's flying right now?"

5 minutes later:

"It's the Stealth Bomber again. What's going on? Is there some winter show?"

10 minutes later, the "Stealth Bomber" "flew overhead" again, but this time, there was a big boom sound right in front of my house. That's what woke me up at 3 AM. I thought, "There's the Stealth Bomber, and...Oh my god, we're being bombed!"

I freaked out, and woke up, and looked outside to see...a snowplow. I don't know what it kept hitting, but right in front of my house there was a pothole, or a manhole cover, or something, so that you'd hear the loud roar of the snowplow (which sounds exactly like the Stealth Bomber, by the way), and then a huge boom, as it went over the hole right in front of my house. And a snowplow went by every 5 minutes--I timed it. I should be happy that my town is so vigilant about keeping the streets cleared, but my god, it was a pain in the ass at 3 AM. I had a hard time falling asleep again, but eventually I did.

And that's the story of how we got bombed in Brookline in the snow.

Shelby's Sleeping Lean

2009-11-22T06:56:00.000-05:00

This is Shelby, leaning on a pillow made by my friend Amy. Watching Shelby sleep is one of my favorite pastimes. How cute is she? No, really, I'm asking. I want to tell you that I hope you have someone in your life that makes you feel giddy inside when you look at her/him, like I feel when I look at Shelby sleeping. Warm fuzzies.

Pure Love

2009-11-22T06:52:00.000-05:00

One of the last times I went to New York City, I had this for lunch. I've done this post before, with a different burger and shake. I said it then, and I'll say it now. Ain't nothing like a cheeseburger and chocolate shake from a coffee shop (aka, a diner) in New York City. You can't get a meal like this anywhere else. It brings tears to my eyes, and saliva to my mouth.

I Love When Stuff Like This Happens

2009-11-22T05:47:00.000-05:00

The other day at school, a parent came in with his baby in the baby carrier. He had to take his older child to the bathroom, so he said to me, "I'll just put the baby here in the corner.", and he put her down. And that's right, Dirty Dancing fans, I said it:

"No one puts baby in a corner!" Thank you, Jennifer Grey.

Things Kids Say in Preschool

2009-11-15T23:15:00.000-05:00

Vic: Mama says, "Touch your own winky!"

Saoirse to me: Do you know how to say "hi" in African?

Me: No.

Saoirse: Me neither.

Letter to Dad

2009-11-13T07:29:00.000-05:00

Dear Dad,

Recently, I've come into a little bit of money. I can now afford to pay for you to come to Boston and stay in a nice hotel for the weekend. I'm going to the opera tonight, and I'd like you to go with me. It's Carmen, my favorite. I think I've seen it with you twice. You know how you always tell me the plot of the opera on the way over to the Met, in the cab? Even though I've seen it twice, I want you to tell me again. You're a good plot teller.

I'll pay for you to take the Acela train over here. It's comfortable, especially in business class. I've made a bunch of trips back and forth to NYC over the past two years.

So, whaddaya say? Want to come to Boston? I have the money. Oh shit. I just remembered something. I have the money because you died. Fuck.

Quotes of the Day

2009-11-05T17:06:00.000-05:00

I was at the Science Museum, and a volunteer was showing a kid, about 8 years old, a model of the human skeleton.

Volunteer: Now, look at this...

Kid: You kill people?!

***************************************************

Kaden, 4, was telling me about sports teams his dad liked:

The football team that my dad votes for is The Patriots.

***************************************************

Madeline, almost 4, told me about a new member of the family for one of her friends:

My friends rented a baby.

Alex: What's that?

Madeline: It's when someone else had a baby in her tummy, and had the baby, and gave it to them.

Halloween NIght 09

2009-11-01T07:01:00.000-05:00

Last night was one of the best Trick or Treat nights we've ever had at our house. We got lots of big groups of kids, and lots of older kids (i.e. high school), which I don't mind at all. They're fun to mess with. My three favorite costumes are pictured above. First, there's Obama, with his Obama mask and blue Oxford shirt. I said to the kid, "Oh, you're Obama?", he nodded, and without missing a beat, the kid in the Jason mask said, "I'm a Republican." Oh god, gotta love those liberal parents!

The Facebook page needs no explanation. Love it!

I had some 12 year olds come to our porch with cell phones, digging into our candy bowls while on the phone. I put a stop to that. I said, "You better say 'hold on' and say 'Trick or Treat to me!'" They did, and I emphasized the rudeness of being on a call while taking candy from strangers.

Seems like people really got into the Halloween spirit this year, maybe because it was Saturday night? While running around during the day, I saw a lot of adults in costume on the subway. Saw a couple of Willy Wonkas, some really great Oompah Loompahs, a Mad Hatter, and my favorite on the subway: The Man with the Yellow Hat and Curious George.

Happy post Halloween, everyone! No candy left, and an extra hour of sleep. Things are lookin' good.

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T10:01:00.002-04:00

That's Why They Call Me The Enforcer

2009-10-31T09:54:00.000-04:00

My good friend Emily and her son Sumner were having a conversation. Sumer's a former preschool student of mine. I'm a teacher at Corner Co-op Nursery School, and Rosie is the Teacher/Director, i.e., my boss.

Sumner: Mom, Alex is in charge of the Corner Co-op, isn't she?

Emily: No; actually, Sumner, Rosie's in charge.

Sumner: Alex kind of acts like she's in charge. But I always thought that Rosie should be in charge.

CVS--Cashier Very Sad

2009-10-25T16:04:00.000-04:00

I just had a depressing visit to CVS. I had to make photo prints for school, and I had to get milk. I made the prints at the NEW PRINT STATION!, where they print out your pics immediately and then give you a receipt that doesn't have the price on it.

I got the milk, and noticed that they also had yogurt and eggs. I need breakfast for tomorrow, so I got those too. It depressed me to buy my eggs at CVS; call me a snob.

So I went to the register and I handed the cashier guy my receipt. This guy seems depressed. He's one of those quiet, greasy haired lonely guys who doesn't like his job. I asked him how the new system worked--did I give him the receipt and he'd tell me how much it was? He said, "No, just tell me how many prints you made." I was trying to remember, but then he scanned the receipt and told me how many. I told him that it was an "interesting" system; I mean, theoretically, I could make 50 prints and tell him I made 10, or not say anything, and walk out of the store. He said, "You wouldn't do that, would you?" Of course I wouldn't, but..."I'm just telling you, for your design system." He replied, "If I designed systems, I wouldn't be working the cash register."

To which I said, "GOT it!" and beat it out of there. Oh god. I'm glad I'm a happy person and that I love my job. This particular CVS has so many characters. There's the pharmacist who looks like early man, the mousy depressed cashier, and a new cashier/manager guy who reminds me of the "bad" brother from Slumdog Millionaire. He's very nice, but just a little too slick. Thing is, this CVS is 2 blocks from my house, so I go there all the time. Never a dull moment, I guess.

M.I.A. - Paper Planes

2009-10-22T17:47:00.001-04:00

I just got the soundtrack to Slumdog Milllionaire the other day. One of my favorite songs is "Paper Planes" by M.I.A. I played it for the kids at school over and over, until I brought it home and really listened to it. I realized that part of the song is the sound of gunfire followed by a cash register. Oops. Not a lesson I'd like to impart to my little ones. But I still love the song.

Heinous Halloween

2009-10-17T07:45:00.000-04:00

What? You didn't want to just get rid of the tree???

I can't wait to see what it looks like at Christmas.

Puzzled

2009-10-08T20:43:00.000-04:00

We have this puzzle at school. I call it "Breaking and Entering". You'll notice that the chain slide lock on the top right was totally broken off. Who knows where the kid who did that is now. Hopefully not in the Big House; maybe he or she is an engineer.

Sweet Enough?

2009-10-08T18:57:00.000-04:00

Last night I had dinner with my friend Melissa. She had made cookies from the South Beach Diet book; they only had 3 ingredients: peanut butter, Splenda, and an egg. The cookies came out sort of crumbly, and by the time they reached me in a Ziploc bag in Melissa's purse, they looked like the topping on a sundae. She asked if they were too "Spelenda-y", and I didn't think they were, though the aftertaste was a little reminiscent of artificial sweetener, which I dislike.

I told her no problem, we'd go over to the local ice cream joint and I'd sprinkle the peanut butter crumble on top of some frozen yogurt, which I figured would be healthier than ice cream. I ordered some NS vanilla yogurt, and asked, after I placed my order, what the "NS" stood for. I was told "no sugar", and Melissa asked what it was sweetened with. We were told, "Splenda, and sometimes NutraSweet." Great.

I got home and ate most of my dessert. Tonight I think I'll have one of the Fudgsicles in my freezer.

Soak

2009-10-01T20:53:00.000-04:00

I went into the kitchen to wash some dishes, when I accidentally came upon Fork taking a bubble bath. Sorry, Fork, I didn't see nuthin'. Sponge, on the other hand, was definitely trying to sneak a peek.

Whoops-the fur edition

2009-09-30T07:27:00.000-04:00

The other day I took out the rubber kitty brush/massager and gave Shelby a good treatment. She loved it. After awhile, there was a huge pile of fur collected, enough to maybe knit a sweater. Her fur was so soft afterwards. The next morning, as Shelby was eating her breakfast, I noticed a bald spot on her back. Oops. Guess I got a little too into it. Sorry, Shelby, hope it grows back soon!

Post #600!

2009-09-29T22:28:00.000-04:00

I found this photo while looking through my photo library, and I don't think I had posted it. My friend Courtney and I like leopard print. A lot.

In Sync on iPods

2009-09-29T22:25:00.000-04:00

Today a guy on a bike passed me as I was crossing the street, and I realized we were both listening to George Michael on our iPods at the same time. I was listening to a ballad, "John and Elvis are Dead", and he was listening to "Flawless". I knew, because he was singing, "You've got to go to the city..." I thought that was pretty cool. And random. We love you, George!

It's Fall

2009-09-28T18:48:00.000-04:00

Important Call

2009-09-25T16:22:00.000-04:00

Today I heard an interesting ring tone. It sounded almost like an ambulance siren; it was called "Alarm". I commented on it to the man whose phone it was, and he said that was the special ring tone assigned to his wife. I had to keep my laughter to myself as he answered the phone. I almost had to go into the next room.

Shelby's Sleeping Safety Spots

2009-09-22T13:32:00.000-04:00

Shelby often likes to sleep with at least two body parts touching an object. Here are some examples:

From the top: This is her special corner. I had put the fan there after I took it out of the window, and she immediately used it as a napping leaning place. Back touching the fan, feet on the books and table leg.

Next: close up of feet touching books and table leg. They must touch.

Next: Face mushed into green chair.

Next: Paw touching corner of loft.

Next: Face mushed into loveseat.

South Beach Diet in Pics

2009-09-21T18:53:00.000-04:00

Big ass salad (and yes, I like to eat my salad with chopsticks), oatmeal with blueberries, walnuts, and cinnamon, NO sugar, sirloin burger w/grape tomatoes & onions instead of ketchup (and yes, I like my burgers well done), grape tomatoes w/mozzarella & balsamic vinegar, and my first shopping cart full of SBD food. It's expensive, and time consuming, but it's made me a better cook, and I take time to prepare food instead of whipping something up in a microwave or going out. AND I've even learned to like V-8 juice. A lot!

South Beach Diet--Wanna Try It?

2009-09-21T18:41:00.000-04:00

I haven't even talked about being on the South Beach Diet. I started it on June 29th, when I weighed an average of 115 pounds. I've weighed myself every day for the past 2 years or so. Back in...hold on, let me get my calendar. Back in January of 2007, I weighed an average of 107.5 lbs. December 2007? 112. June 2009? 115. You see where I'm going with this. I know, at 41, that I can't eat whatever I want anymore. Metabolism has slowed. Took me about 3 years to accept that. When I saw 117 on my scale one day, I decided that enough was enough, it was time to get drastic. Plus I had just gotten a back tat, and back tat + back fat = ick. And muffin tops should stay on baked goods.

Now listen, I know this is all relative. I know most people would kill to be 117 lbs. But I'm 5'1", I'm very small. Curvy, but small. I didn't feel good at 117. Or 115. I wanted to lose 10 lbs. and be 105, which is not unheard of for a woman of 5'1". I went through my 20's at an even 100 lbs., and I thought that was my adult weight. HA!

A friend of mine told me she lost 25 lbs. on the SBD. I was inspired by her tale, and got the book. I was mentally prepared, and I did it. I've been 108 for about a month, and only have 3 more lbs. to go. If you're intrigued, buy the book. I just wanted to say a few things about what I've learned.

*Phase 1 is very very important. It helped me to kick (actually, greatly reduce) my muffin/cake/cookie habit.
*In order to keep weight off, I believe you must eat at least one big salad every day; it helps to have a small salad with dinner, too.
*Another tip to keeping weight off--eat sweets once a week. See how nicely that flows off the tongue? Any more, and you'll gain. I know how to gain and lose half a pound like a pro. And when you eat a sweet, make it only a little bit. Like half a muffin. Or a few bites of whatever.
*Nuts, lowfat cheese, and Fage yogurt with fresh fruit you add to it are great snacks for mid-morning and mid-afternoon (note, one of those, not all three).

I also workout with a personal trainer semi-regularly, and I walk everywhere. I don't drive. Good luck to you, if you want to do this, and thanks for reading. Leave a comment if you need support/tips.

(to my special friend who almost passed out in the mall after being on SBD, I wish I had been there for you)

Even a Three Year Old Can Do It!

2009-09-21T17:55:00.001-04:00

I played charades with a 3 year old. His mom said, "We went to New York City and saw...", and Rowan made one movement with his hands, pushing them down forcefully. I guessed, "Stomp!" I was right. I'll remember to bring Rowan as my partner if I'm ever on a game show.

Flight of the Conchords: Cello Tape

2009-09-19T21:42:00.001-04:00

Here's that song about how love is like tape, by Flight of the Conchords.

Tell Me, Teller

2009-09-19T11:36:00.000-04:00

At my bank, the tellers wear name tags with personalized messages on them. They're conversation starters; "I love football!" "I have a cat", etc. Today, my teller's name tag said, "I collect clowns!" I asked her, "How many people tell you that they're afraid of clowns?" She said that all of them did. Poor woman. She asked me if I was afraid of clowns, I told her that of course I was. She asked me why, and I said, "Simple. Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus. Childhood." and I made a creepy clown movement with my hands. I said it was the makeup. She understood. I didn't even go into harlequins, eww.

I told her that the clowns at the Big Apple Circus were actually very funny. Grandma the Clown? Outstanding. She said her kids were grown, but she could take her grandchild. The line behind me was growing, so I had to finish my transaction, but it was a nice conversation. Good idea on those tags.

The funniest tag I ever saw at the bank was a guy who had "Pog ma thon" on his tag, which means "Kiss my ass" in Gaelic. I only knew this because I had dated an Irish guy. I laughed at the tag, and asked the teller what he told people it meant. He said he told them it meant, "Have a nice day". LOL! Unfortunately, I guess some higher ups knew what it meant, because that teller didn't last long at the bank. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted!

A Sticky Situation

2009-09-17T21:47:00.000-04:00

Today at school I gave a spontaneous lesson on the different kinds of tape there are. When I went to get tape for something, I noticed we had four different kinds, and I thought it would be fun to talk about. Turns out, the kids were riveted, and we grownups learned a thing or two also!

I began with Scotch tape. I told the kids that it was clear tape that was best used for putting pieces of paper together. Jo, a mom, and new member of the Co-op from England, piped up that in England, Scotch tape was called cello tape. So now we say Scotch or cello tape. Of course I had to add that it's also called cello tape in New Zealand, which I learned from watching Flight of the Conchords. They have a whole song about how cello tape is like love, sticky, but it holds people together, etc. Then Jo, who is a CSI in England, said something about using cello tape to lift fingerprints with the dusting powder, etc. I said we'd talk about that later, and quickly moved on to the next roll of tape.

Which was masking tape. Same thing in England. A little stronger than Scotch tape, I like to use it when hanging the meeting chart each day to show where each grownup will be at school. I'm usually at the art table. I noted that with Scotch tape and masking tape, you can rip it by yourself.

Next, we moved onto packing tape. We had a clear roll. Well, here's where it got interesting. In England, if it's clear, it's still called cello tape. If it's packing tape in America but it's brown, it's called parcel tape in England. So, any clear tape in England is called cello tape. Brown tape for wrapping parcels is called parcel tape. Makes sense. In America, it's the type of tape, not the color, that determines it's name. Clear or brown, it's still packing tape. I told the kids you had to use scissors to cut packing tape, because it's really strong.

And then the granddaddy of them all, duct tape! Which I told everyone was duct, d-u-c-t, but lots of people thought it was "duck" tape (several adult heads nodded), and then one company capitalized on that mistake by naming their company Duck Tape, so it was very confusing. Anyway, it's duct tape in England too. I told the kids duct tape was the strongest tape we had, and it had all sorts of uses. I asked Rosie to bring me the crayon basket, and explained that years ago it was a woven basket that had gotten holes in it. Instead of throwing it away, I wrapped the whole thing in duct tape, and it's lasted for years. I pointed out that duct tape could be seen all over the Co-op, we liked it so much. Mom Trish pointed out that duct tape now comes in designer colors! Tomorrow I'll have to bring in my roll of hot pink duct tape. Which I really have.

That concluded our lesson on tape. I love spontaneous lessons. And tape.

Leaf

2009-09-17T21:03:00.002-04:00

First fall leaf of the year.

Wood You?

2009-09-17T20:44:00.000-04:00

I was at Walden Pond recently and came across these cards posted on a tree. "Corey and Tiffany, Best First Date Ever! 8/30/09" Awww, how sweet! I told my friends I hoped that they had been friends before their first date, because I certainly wouldn't go to the woods with a stranger on my first date. I know, I'm a romantic cynic. What can I say?

Self Portraits w/ Cat, 9/12/2009

2009-09-16T21:03:00.000-04:00

Me and Raizo, cat of my brother and sister-in-law.

Buzz a Bush

2009-09-16T20:52:00.000-04:00

Guess I picked the wrong time to take a shortcut.

Shelby's Big Adventure

2009-09-14T18:29:00.001-04:00

Today at 10:10 AM some Bible thumpers came to my door. I was standing there, being polite, talking to the guy. He said something about times are hard, and people are having a hard time keeping a positive attitude. I said that I had a positive attitude, and he asked why. I said, "Because Barack Obama is President." He was surprised that I said that, and laughed. I told him that I had faith, and he said, "Do you have faith in the Bible?"

And right then, Shelby decided that she didn't have faith in the bible, but she had faith in the outdoors. She went out the door, on the porch, and down onto the lawn. She'd never gotten that far. I told the BTs that I needed to go, and they stood around for awhile. Shelby went to the right, and then disappeared. I walked around the block a couple of times, to no avail.

I called my friend and around the corner neighbor, Carin. She walked with me because I really needed the company. After awhile, I told her she could go, and I came home, posted an announcement on Facebook, and made a few signs. My computer ran out of ink, so I only got 4 made. I told a couple of people that I saw to be on the lookout, and I emailed my immediate neighbors.

Now, Shelby isn't the most adventurous of felines; I didn't think she'd be too far, but she wasn't crying when I called her. I looked behind every bush, under every car, and circled the block numerous times.

Two hours later, I went out with a small container full of dry cat food. I shook it and called her name. When I got about three yards away from the house, where a driveway is, I shook the container, called her name, and there she was. She poked her naughty little head out from under our community grill, that has a cover on it that goes all the way to the ground. I had looked under the car that was right next to it about three times.

I cooed to her, then grabbed her and brought her in the house. When we got close, she started squirming. I knew she wanted to get inside, and she would have gone that way, but I didn't want to take any chances. I grabbed her tighter, and she started wheezing. What a drama queen! I put her down in the entry way, and she started panting and breathing fast like she was gonna pass out from the adventure. Oh, please! I laid down with her and gave her a gentle talking to, and then let her in the apartment and fed her. Poor thing, of course she went right to her default mode: sleep. I think that's the last time she'll be so adventurous. And the last time I'll give any of my time to those who are holding The Good Book. I have faith in myself, my cat, Barack Obama, and my own version of God; I don't need to read a book to have faith. Listening to George Michael circa 1987, maybe.

Self-Portraits for a Year

2009-09-12T17:45:00.000-04:00

I had this great idea. I'm going to take a self-portrait once a month for a year, and post it here, and then maybe make it into a book. Maybe I'll do that every five years or something. What's today, the 12th? I took a bunch today, but I can't post them right now because I'm not at home. Posting starts tomorrow. I think everyone should do this. Do we all look different in a year?

New York State of Mind

2009-09-12T07:39:00.000-04:00

I'm in NYC, arrived here yesterday, on 9/11, coincidentally.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I love the people here. On the subway platform yesterday I witnessed a street musician, a black man, helping an old white lady with directions. He had been setting up for his performance; he had a mike stand, and a plastic laundry basket lined with a blanket that had seen better days. He was in the middle of setting him self up, and this older woman, well dressed, was standing at the subway map, trying to figure out where to go.

I don't know if she asked him for help or if he volunteered, but when I looked at them again, he had his hand over hers, guiding her finger along the map to show her how the subway traveled. She asked a couple of questions, he answered, and she was on her way. You just don't see that anywhere else. Races mix here, and old, and young, and black, and white, rich and poor. It's not like that where I live now. I miss it every time I come here.

I also miss people being real. I passed another scene while walking down the street. Two people, a man and a woman, came out of a store. They had been arguing, and continued the argument outside--they didn't know each other. The woman was cursing the man out, gesturing with her hands, and the man dismissed her with a wave of his, like she was some pesky fly. People tell it like it is in NYC, and if you don't like it, too bad. I love that. I miss it. I'm really glad I grew up here.

Birds on a Wire

2009-09-10T09:18:00.000-04:00

I love listening to birds. Here's a video I came across recently:

http://vimeo.com/6428069

LOVE it. Wish I could get it on iTunes.

And here's my own birds on a wire photo.

Blob in the Dark

2009-09-10T09:11:00.000-04:00

This morning I woke up in the dark and saw a shape on the floor. It looked like a huge mass of something really disgusting. I thought, "Oh my god, Shelby's really done it now. She's gone and thrown up and pooped, and coughed up god knows what, and I almost stepped in it! It was the biggest blob I had ever seen. Was Shelby okay??

I carefully leaned over the mass to turn on the light, and then saw...my leopard socks. WHEW!!!! I had a good laugh, and Shelby sat there looking at me like I had lost my marbles. Once again.

Frosty Font

2009-09-08T17:28:00.000-04:00

I love "cold" font, with snow on top.

May I Help You?

2009-09-03T08:44:00.002-04:00

Look at this bunny. Is it even real? Those ears are reeeedonkulous!!!!

Mini Challah

2009-09-03T08:41:00.002-04:00

The other day I went to Japonaise, a Japanese bakery. It is soooo good! I bought a mini challah loaf. It was as big as my sunglasses.

Bathtub Blunder

2009-08-28T17:06:00.003-04:00

I taught my cat Shelby how to drink from the tub faucet. She jumps in the tub and waits for me to turn on the faucet, and when she's done, she jumps out. The whole process takes about five minutes.

Shelby had a little "accident" outside of her litter box today, so I had to clean the plastic litter mat that is right outside of her box. It's a plastic grid tray, and to clean it, I have to fill up the tub with a little water and soak it.

Well, I left it to soak, and forgot about it. Poor Shelby jumped in the tub as she usually does. I heard a noise, and then I saw a shaken Shelby, limping with very wet feet. Oh, the poor thing! I have never seen a cat look embarrassed, but I swear that is how she looked. I wiped her feet off and apologized profusely, and she did what she usually does in great times of stress: she fell asleep.

I cleaned out the tub, and in a few minutes I'll show her that it's okay. I hope she's not too traumatized.

Success!

2009-08-27T10:05:00.002-04:00

Guess what? The dishwashing liquid totally worked! Remember that next time you have a grease stain. Or Lestoil. Or Pine Sol.

Voiceover--Do-over!

2009-08-27T08:22:00.002-04:00

I just saw a preview of a piece that was coming up on my daily morning new show. They announced, "What to do with leftover frozen embryos, coming up." The unfortunate thing was that during the voiceover, they showed a family cooking in the kitchen. Ewww.

False Advertising

2009-08-27T07:28:00.002-04:00

"Does your shirt stink? Wanna make something of it? Come to this dry cleaner, and get it cleaned!"

This picture is supposed to advertise a clean shirt, but to me it looks like a stinky shirt. P.U.!

Grease Monkey

2009-08-27T07:23:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I walked past a bicycle, just as the wind knocked it down. Trying to be helpful, I picked it up and righted it, and went on my way. When I got home, I noticed that I had bicycle grease on my pants, grrrr! I looked up "removing bicycle grease" on Google, and soaked my pants with dishwashing soap overnight. I'll wash them today to see if the grease came out. They were old pants anyway.

Strawberry Tooth

2009-08-27T01:51:00.001-04:00

The other day I got a strawberry that looked like a tooth. I think it needs a filling.

Visit from Venezuela

2009-08-27T01:25:00.003-04:00

About 11 years ago we had a family at my school from Venezuela. They were here for one year; Vicky, the little girl, was four years old at the end of the year when they moved back.

A few months ago, we got an email from Vicky, saying that she didn't know if we remembered her, but she was 15 now and was coming to visit Boston and wanted to see us (my boss Rosie and me). Of course we remembered her! She was a quiet girl with a big smile, and her mom made us a cassette tape of Venezuelan songs when they left.

The other day Rosie and I met Vicky and her family at our school. They had had two more kids since we had seen them, so we got to meet Julio, 10, and Beatriz, 8. When Vicky hugged me, it was a real hug, tight, and not quick and perfunctory. The younger kids got hugs too, and I wasn't sure if it was their Latin culture or the culture of our school that made it so natural. It didn't matter.

Whenever we get visitors from long ago, it seems as though time stands still. Suddenly, we were back in 1998. I went over to our music cabinet and in about 3 seconds put my hands on the Venezuelan tape and passed it around. We got out the photo album and found Vicky right away. She and her mom sang bits of some songs they remembered, and we all sat down for a pizza lunch.

The conversation turned to their hometown of Caracas, and they mentioned how dangerous it was. They told me that you couldn't ever take the subway or walk down the street, because you might get shot or kidnapped. Vicky's mom told me about something called "Express kidnapping", and Vicky explained what it was. She said that someone would get kidnapped in the morning, the kidnappers would demand ransom from the family, the family would get them the money in a few hours, and by nighttime, the kidnapped person would be returned. Express kidnapping. I remarked about how sad it was that a 15 year old girl was telling me this, that she knew things like this happened. The younger kids nodded, because they knew it too.

It seems that Boston, while a dreamland compared to Caracas, wasn't the safest place either, at the end of their stay. Vicky's dad told a story about how they were trying to sell their car before they moved. They had a sign in the window advertising $500 for the sale of their clunker.

One day the dad got lost driving in a sketchy neighborhood and was stopped in the middle of the street by a man with a gun. He demanded the car, but said that he would pay for it. The dad was, of course, shocked and scared, and told the guy if he had the money, he could have the car. The guy gave him the money, and the transaction was complete. Rosie asked, "How did you get home?" and he replied, "Crying."

Despite sad stories of violence, we had a great lunch and a wonderful visit with Vicky and her family. We learned that the trip was a present for Vicky's 15th birthday that she requested, with our school listed as an important stop among their travels. I told a friend about the visit, and he remarked, "Your school is like a friend factory." It is. And a family factory too. We are a family, and visits like these only reinforce the feeling. I work at a very special place.

Half My Paycheck

2009-08-23T22:51:00.003-04:00

I just came back from a weekend away, and I went up the block to CVS to get some milk. Saw some yogurt while I was there, and figured that might be a good thing to have in the morning.

At the register, the yogurt didn't scan, so the cashier asked me to go over to the scan machine and tell me what price it gave. I scanned the yogurt, and came up with $999.99. I told the young pimply faced man behind the counter, "It says nine hundred ninety-nine dollars and ninety-nine cents. Man, that's expensive yogurt!" He didn't really laugh, just smiled, and looked frustrated. He asked me how much yogurt usually cost, so I took a guess and paid $1.39. Was I close?

Smells Like Trouble

2009-08-14T11:08:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I saw a guy come out of the ATM. He had his money fanned out in front of his face for all to see, and he smelled it as he was walking by me. He made sure I saw and heard. He had a sort of menacing look on his face. Ewww, creepy.

Going Postal in Brookline

2009-07-18T07:43:00.003-04:00

I love my town. A couple of weeks ago, I went to the post office in Brookline Village to mail a package of returned clothing. I stuck the label from the company on the bag and brought it to the counter, where the mail woman told me I was all set, no charge.

About an hour later, I got a phone call from the woman, saying that she had made a mistake, and actually it would cost $4.90. The post office was closing in an hour, and if I couldn't make it back, the package would be returned to me. I couldn't make it back in time. Sure enough, the package was delivered to me with the amount owed written on it.

Yesterday I was running errands in Coolidge Corner, the location of the other Brookline post office. I brought the package in and waited in line. Unbelievably, the same woman from the Brookline Village post office was one of the three people behind the counter. I tried to guess my chances of getting her. Amazingly, I did get her.

I put the package on the counter and told her I had been at the other post office...she totally remembered, and said she was sorry, and sort of new at this and thank goodness she was able to find my phone number to tell me. I told her it was okay, and that at least we had come full circle and could have closure with this package.

We laughed together, and I got to know yet another Brookline postal worker. I already know one who shares my birthday, another who used the same physical therapist as me, and another who is also a tattoo enthusiast like myself. Here in Brookline, I want to "go postal"!

Let's Play Mafia!

2009-07-11T22:17:00.003-04:00

A kid brought this car to school, and this is what it looked like at the end of the day. Looks like Dr. Jones won't be writing prescriptions for much longer...

MJ for the next generation

2009-07-11T07:33:00.003-04:00

Since Michael Jackson died, I've been bringing in The Jackson 5 and Michael Jackson CDs for the kids to listen to at school. I think it's important that they know his music. One day Claire came up to me and asked if we were going to listen to that guy again. I said, "Who?" She replied, "You know, Eee hee!", doing a perfect MJ impression. I assured her that yes, we would.

Red light--there's a rainbow!

2009-07-11T07:31:00.002-04:00

It has been so rainy for the past month and a half. Sometimes you get something good out of it. I caught this rainbow on my way to a friend's house during a torrential downpour. By the time he came to rescue me from the rain, the sun had come out. Rainbows are so magical.

Doh! Time to pay the bills!

2009-07-11T07:28:00.002-04:00

Whenever I go to the post office to get new stamps, I always ask to see what the latest ones are. These looked like a lot of fun. I enjoyed putting the Homer one on bills. You could use the Marge one on a belated birthday card.

I see London, I see France, I can see your...

2009-07-11T07:26:00.002-04:00

I saw these dudes walking ahead of me at the park. How low can you go? You gotta admit, the low pants style has been around for many, many years. It's not a trend anymore. It's a way of life.

She's Had Enough

2009-05-31T11:14:00.004-04:00

The other day Claire brought in a toy iPod. It was so attractive that kids were listening to it instead of eating their snack or lunch. I really got on Claire's case, yammering on and on about how she and her friends needed to eat, she shouldn't bring that to school if it's too distracting, blah blah blah...

Claire turned to me after my tirade and said, "Alex, I think you should leave early today."

Sick

2009-05-31T11:08:00.003-04:00

I'm sorry, but the first thing I thought of when I saw these barrettes in the store was a new advertisement: "And now, for the pedophiles in your life, the perfect gift!"

Eww. But that's what I thought, so there it is.

Nurse Ratched

2009-05-29T20:20:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I feel like Nurse Ratched. I have to give Shelby a new pill for a couple of weeks, much to her dismay. I can usually get it in her, but sometimes she fakes me out like those patients in the movies. You know those ones who pretend to take the pill but really hide it under their tongue or in their cheek till the nurse leaves the room, and then they spit it out?

Shelby does that sometimes. The other day I caught her; I turned around for a second as she was eating her breakfast, and when I turned back around, I saw the offending blue pill back in her food. I shoved it down her throat again, but good. I now check her plate every time.

Corduroy Turn-On

2009-04-20T15:36:00.004-04:00

I saw a man at the Apple store who had on corduroy pants. The wale on his pants didn't go vertically, like you usually see. It went across, horizontally. It sort of turned me on. But his sweater didn't match, and that turned me off. Back to neutral.

Thirsty?

2009-04-18T08:21:00.003-04:00

The other day I was at the train station, waiting for a train. There's a bookstore there, and I often browse the titles as I'm waiting. I picked up a book titled, You're Not Sick, You're Just Thirsty! I flipped through and found an interesting tidbit.

It said that you should drink a glass of water upon waking, before you eat or drink anything else, because your body is dehydrated from sleeping. It made sense to me, so I've been doing just that for a week. It really makes a difference! I find that I'm actually thirsty when I wake up, and I down a glass of water pretty quickly. Also helps with the pee, which you already know should be clear, right? Clear enough to read through (got that from Dr. Oz on Oprah).

Maybe you all do this already. If not, try it! You'll pee glad you did!

Little Debbie, I Shall Miss Ye

2009-04-12T19:15:00.004-04:00

I got this book from the bookstore, it's called Eat This, Not That: Supermarket Survival Guide, by David Zinczenko. It's great, because it has photos and nutritional info on every page. The left side is the "eat this" side, and the right side is the "not that" side.

This weekend I've been going through the book, making a giant list of foods I should buy at the supermarket, instead of blindly choosing what's on sale or is most convenient.

Turns out I've made some giant boo boos in my food choices. Well, snack choices. Check this out:

A Little Debbie Double Decker Oatmeal Creme Pie (the one pictured here, when I wrote about a dessert fantasy come true) has:

470 calories (more calories than 3 Twinkies!)
8 g fat
39 g sugars

My favorite candy bar, Snickers, has:

280 calories
14 g fat
30 g sugars

A Starbucks coffee flavored Frappuccino, the bottled drink I like in the summer, has:

290 calories
4.5 g fat
46 g sugars (more than a double decker oatmeal creme pie!!!)
This drink has the sugar equivalent of 3 1/2 scoops of Dryer's Double Fudge Brownie ice cream. Lord, give me strength

The worst chocolate milk? The one I grew up on:

Nesquik Chocolate Milk
400 calories
10 g fat
60 g sugars
Sugar equivalent of 4 Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies (why did they have to compare this to my favorite crap snack???)

Even my favorite apple juice wasn't safe. Thank god it's hard to find around here:

Martinelli's apple juice:
140 calories
31 g sugars

One thing is crystal clear: I have a serious sugar addiction. Mind you, I don't indulge in these treats on a daily basis, but in years past, I'd have my fill, oh yes. And I need to wean myself off of sugar even more. I have a habit of eating something sweet at night while I'm watching TV. My friend Chris pointed out that it's a habit, a routine, nothing more. If I can break the routine, I can break the habit, and thus the addiction. I'm going to try. Right now.

Glass of water and maybe a stick of sugarfree gum so I don't go for what's in my kitchen at this moment:

leftover piece of red velvet cake
chocolate chip cookies
cinnamon coffee cake
chocolate Easter candy
frosted Easter sugar cookies

Please send me your well wishes and prayers in my quest for a healthier lifestyle! Hmm, where are the garbanzo beans?

Recycling Decoration

2009-04-07T18:42:00.001-04:00

One of the kids at school decorated the office chair at school. By taping used tissues to it.

Still in Love

2009-03-31T22:55:00.002-04:00

The other day I was at the home of one of my kids. We were all sitting around, talking. The subject turned to the President.

Pauline (Mom), talking to Ella, 7:

Alex is in love with Barack Obama. (pause)
You know who else is in love with Barack Obama?

Ella: Michelle Obama?

Confession to my Blog

2009-03-23T21:58:00.004-04:00

Blog, blog,
I've been such a hog
And I haven't been
All that truthful.

My fingers are flyin'
For two others, and I'm tryin'
To make it seem
Like it is useful.

One website's a job
Volunteer, I'm no snob
And it's greatly improved
My life's outlook.

The other's for friends
I don't mean to offend
Okay, I'll just say it
I'M ON FACEBOOK!

I'm a three-timing bitch
Gotta scratch that damn itch
But I'm making my way
Back to you.

My heart string's entangled
In this big love triangle
Join the fun
It's the right thing to do!

Love Poem to my Blog

2009-03-21T21:38:00.002-04:00

Blog, I don't mean to ignore you.
Please, I really implore you.
Wait for me
Creativity
Is taking all forms
I adore you.

I Beg Your Pardon?

2009-03-08T21:31:00.004-04:00

When I was in California the last time, my friend and I were walking a particular strip that had panhandlers every few yards. We came upon two benches; each bench had a person sitting on it with a sign. We actually heard the guy panhandler say to the woman panhandler, "Is this where you usually are? 'Cause I can move up a bit."

So considerate. He did move up the block a little so as not to infringe upon her begging.

Stack o' Dinos

2009-03-08T21:24:00.002-04:00

The Bremen Town musicians in prehistoric days.

Montecore and his cheetah friend aren't any help.
Remember Montecore? He's the white tiger that "helped" the magician Roy, of Sigfried and Roy, when he had a stroke onstage.

Other titles for this photo?

HDTV--Hell and Damnation Tele Vision!

2009-02-22T07:52:00.005-05:00

Can I just vent here a second? It's about my TV.

See, we've all been getting the warnings about the end of the world that was supposed to be coming on February 17; now changed to June 12 or something. I reasoned that I'd never bought a new TV in my life, and in fact had never paid for one, so it was time for me to bite the bullet and get with the program. I bought a brand spanking new flat screen HDTV. And got cable. And thought all my problems were solved.

Wrong.

I thought, you get a new TV, you plug it in, and boom! Clear picture, you can see beads of sweat, pores, the blades of grass on a football field. No. If you have basic cable, you don't have HD cable. If you don't have HD cable, some channels are crystal clear, and some aren't. You still have to have an antennae. And you have to switch back and forth between I don't even know what, to work off of some signal or radio wave or ass crack to get a clear picture.

I have two remotes, one for my TV, and one from the cable company. Yesterday I couldn't even get a picture. My friend came over and somehow got the picture to come on, but she didn't know what she did to get the picture. It worked for several hours, then I turned off the TV and went out.

When I turned on the TV again, no picture. I pressed every single button, made some changes, made the changes back, pressed buttons again, to no avail. I missed one of my favorite TV shows.

It's 8:00 am on Sunday morning. I want to turn on the TV. I'm scared that if I turn it on and I get no picture, I might do something I'll regret later. Maybe I'll just go back to bed.

Orangutan and Kangaroo Get Married

2009-02-15T21:37:00.003-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here together to witness the marriage of O. Rangutan and K. Angaroo. The Honora-Bull, presiding.

Z. Bra is happy for the inter-species union, but T.Grrr is still bitter, having been jilted by O for K. See her menacing, growling face? Things got ugly as she started talking trash right when O placed his hand over K's. When she made a crack about K.Angaroo's pouch being more of a paunch, and K responded by asking T if she wanted a punch, the cops were called and there were pigs all over the place, and bull shit, too.

O. Rangu is hanging in there, and K.Anga is still hopping mad.

Why I'm Not Going to the Gym Today.

2009-02-12T17:36:00.004-05:00

I had every intention of going today. I even packed my gym clothes in my gym bag and schlepped them to school and then to my haircut, thinking I would go straight to the gym afterwards.

But when I got out of my haircut, my back was all itchy from the stray hairs that get caught down there, and even though I knew that was going to happen, I tried to not think about it. Until it happened. And all I wanted to do was go home and take a shower. And plus I somehow broke three nails at school today and I wanted to go home and clip them properly and file them, because I might really do damage at the gym with broken nails. Like bend one back all the way and have it start bleeding all over the place.

And also, I had to go to the bank. I was going to go to the bank that is right next to the gym, I planned it that way:

work
haircut
bank
gym

But then when I got out of my haircut it was really windy outside. And I wondered if maybe the tornado that blew through the midwest was maybe gonna come here, and did I want to walk in a tornado after getting all sweaty at the gym, and I decided that no, I didn't want to.

And it's a good thing too, because when I got home, I got an email from my lawyer with a (!) symbol, telling me to call him right away. Important business to attend to, tomorrow. Like, what I've been waiting for for over a year.

So...I'm sort of thinking about that, and that caps it for reasons I am not going to go to the gym today. And I'm not going tomorrow, because the Bugs Bunny Film Festival starts tomorrow, and I won't be able to go next week because I'll be in California, so I have to go tomorrow.

And I don't feel guilty about it at all.

Baby, it's Cold Outside!

2009-02-11T22:04:00.002-05:00

I guess I already gave another post the same title, but it's so fitting for this photo. Look at that ice! That was last week, though. Today it was about 50-something degrees. Changes day to day. It actually smelled like spring today.

Tomorrow, who knows? The Abominable Snowman may come to visit.

(fyi, Abominable Snowman is a real word, I looked it up in the dictionary. It means "yeti". I thought it was just from that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer special. Who knew?)

Merry Fucking Christmas!

2009-02-11T21:52:00.001-05:00

Saw this Christmas tree the other day, shoved upside down in a snowbank. Guess whoever it was didn't get what he or she wanted this year.

2009-02-08T22:46:00.002-05:00

My name is Shelby. I sleep on my mat.
I like my mini catnip pillow. Don't you touch it.

George Michael - The First Time Ever I saw Your Face

2009-02-04T20:19:00.001-05:00

I think this rendition is so beautiful. It is truly moving. Focus on the voice, not the images. Ooooh, I'm melting!

During the Inauguration

2009-02-01T19:36:00.001-05:00

Text from one of my best friends and the biggest Obama supporter ever! I'm glad I documented the moment; her text says it all.

Hard Work Down the Drain...

2009-02-01T16:30:00.004-05:00

Sofia handed me the following note a few days ago: YOU ARE FIRED. After all I've done for her! A few days later, I told her how to spell "your". She'll learn contractions towards the end of the year.

Unfortunately, this was not the first time I'd been fired by a child at work. Many years ago, I was fired by a 4 year old boy because I wouldn't let him go home by himself. His exact words: "Alex, you're out of a job!"

I'd better step it up.

Gwen Stefani - Wind it up

2009-01-31T08:52:00.001-05:00

Wind it up!

2009-01-28T17:40:00.005-05:00

I haven't even talked about how I taught my kids the Gwen Stefani song I was going on and on about a few weeks ago, the one that's the remix of The Lonely Goatherd.

I set it up with a CD I made. First, the original Lonely Goatherd, which many of them knew. Then I taught them that when you take one song and add a dance beat to it, it's called a REMIX. Can you say "remix"? Children: "remix!" Very good.

I played the CD about twice a day for a week so that they would get to know it very well. As usual, most of them liked it once they heard it a few times; how could they not, with that funky beat?? One girl, Maddie (aka Cindy Loo Who), even had her own dance moves she would do while coloring and listening. She'd prop up a stool and sit on it, moving her shoulders to the beat.

My goal of having children request "Wind it Up" has been reached.

At the NAG-dromat

2009-01-27T20:09:00.003-05:00

I was just at the laundrymat and witnessed an exchange between a frustrated father and his non-compliant teenage son. The son showed up as his dad was folding the laundry, and the dad wanted a little help. He went about it the wrong way, however. He called his kid selfish because he wouldn't help, and when the son walked towards the door, the father actually started to count, like I do with my 3 year olds: "Max, one!"

My favorite part was when the son delivered his excuse: "Well, the only reason you're asking me to do it is because I'm here! I wouldn't have even done any of it if I hadn't shown up!" Oh man, I had to keep from laughing.

One thing I noticed is that the dad kept nagging the son, and it didn't make the son want to fold laundry, for sure. My advice would have been for him to have a nice conversation with his son as he was folding, instead of nagging and threatening him. After a few minutes, the son probably would have started folding some stuff on his own.

Note to all: if you want something done, ask nicely. Drop the NAG! I'll try it too.